Let's start again

So Blogger... I had forgotten all about you...

Why was that>?

The reason for this was my lack of interest in typing up my rants, I have to admit Twitter's 140 characters seem much more appealing.
Well life directed me in weird directions where I honestly couldn't see myself updating blogs on absolutely nothing...

Yet here I am trying it out again..
Why?
I suffer from Chronic fatigue syndrome, which in any case is no biggie, I admit.
Other a drastic LIFESTYLE CHANGE or use of medication.
I was advised to change my lifestyle and to be honest that's what I have been trying to do.

So what have I achieved since last time I wrote.

Currently I am 20 years old..  will turn 21 on the 21st of September.
Will I celebrate my birthday? probably not... who will I invite? and what will I do?
I don't think I deserve to celebrate my existence.
Long gone are those days when I was a young kid who thought the world revolved around me.
Now is completely different I just want to be a good daughter.

It sounds sad and extremely pathetic to say but the people of this world have sucked any desire for me to live for myself. Sounds harsh but its reality... I never promised to be optimistic in this blog either...
No one knows what my life is really like but everyone likes to act like they do... YOU KNOW NOTHING!! :P
Hey I can't complain too much because luckily I have a family, shelter, food and all the basic necessities. My parents do their best for us and I appreciate that!
I'm under great pressure to try and compensate them for the trouble I have caused them.
I feel nothing will be enough :( they deserve so much better yet they were blessed with a curse known as me... but still I will try my BEST to make them happy.
If I make my parents happy then I will make myself happy, so in reality I'm selfish :P

My parents went through a lot and still are..
I don't want to mention the past too much but it is equally important for me to prove to myself and others to do something.